Managing the Management

I had a brief stint as a retail manager. By brief, I mean about a year and a half. It was, without a doubt, the most anxiety-filled overwhelming task I've ever participated in, but I learned more about myself and others in that short time than probably any other period in my life. I learned things that can't be taught in a book; things like good confrontation skills, and the delicate balance between being fair and just without getting walked all over. At the peak of my store's season, I was wholly responsible for 28 employees, not to mention the merchandising and sales of 2 high volume departments. To complicate matters, I was all of 19 years old at the time (one of the youngest area sales managers in the company) and all but 2 of my associates were senior to me.

Looking back now, I'm not entirely sure how I survived. I remember many an afternoon/evening/morning sitting, crying at my tiny desk in the corner of my tiny stockroom after shrieked at, cussed out, and insulted by an irate customer (or even an associate). But much like vacations in Rocky Point, you have to experience hell to really appreciate heaven.

In spite of the routine compliments paid me by my district and store manager about my managing ability, I had little faith in myself at the time. It wasn't until later in life; after being managed by a series of less-than-adequate managers in various positions myself, that I realized how good my associates really had it. They were the real reason I stayed in that hell-job as long as I did. I loved my associates, well most of them. But the ones you love, those are the ones you get up in the morning for (or in my case just never go home and spend the night). Nothing in that godforsaken store came anywhere near watching someone actually enjoy their underpaid, overworked position just because you were able to create a pleasant working environment for them doing things they loved.

I had a wonderful mentor (ironically, in the one career I haven't pursued). Her name was Astrid Tuholski. She is German and was my first manager when I began my short career as a department store clothing salesperson. She was brilliant, everything I knew to do as a manger was just from watching her interact with her associates. She always knew exactly what to do to make her good associates love their job and make her bad ones hate it, all the while appearing completely professional and appropriate.

Here's some of what I learned from her:

• Make your associate(s) your number one priority; before merchandise, deadlines, goals, even bosses; if they're happy everything else will fall into place.
• Be a buffer for your associate(s), it's your job to get yelled at by irate customers, co-worker's or annoying bosses; not theirs.
  
• Be an example for your associate(s) to follow.
• Never expect an associate to do something you're not willing to do yourself.
• Never expect as much out of your associate(s) as you do yourself, that's why you get paid more than them (hopefully).
• Be very selective and hesitant when fraternizing with associates (better yet, just avoid it altogether).
• Confrontation is part of the job so get over your fear of it (or learn how to fake it well) because you WILL NOT make a very good manager.
  

I Smell Ice Cream

It seems that virtually every week I discover a new, ecclectic, character-filled, cheap, yummy place to eat in this culinary mecca of a city. I've been a resident now for a little over a year and here are my personal picks in order of preference for cheapest, yummiest, funnest places to grab a bite;

1. Sushi Deli II [Downtown] - This place has, by far, the best and most inexpensive sushi rolls I've ever tasted. And their atmosphere filled with loud 80's pop music and $5.50 large Sapporo/Sake special makes for a good time had by all.
2. The Turf Club [Golden Hill] - This cook-your-own steak dive bar comes complete with $6 sirloins and $6 16oz (potent) drinks.
3. Cass Street Bar and Grill [Pacific Beach] - Who knew a bar could have such delicious, fresh food (even their breakfasts!) and the informality of it all means more than reasonable prices.
4. Hash House a-go-go [Hillcrest] - Every inch of the walls in this place are covered with awards and notariety for their food and presentation, and they've earned every bit of it.
5. Luigi's Pizza [Golden Hill] - Amaaaaazing Chicago-style pizza and an impressive selection of bottled beers. (Though I suggest purchasing a pie at a time @ a reasonable $20.00 each rather than by-the-slice since their individual slices are occasionally fly-friendly.)
6. Ichiban Sushi [Pacific Beach] - Sushi Deli II's rolls are far superior, but for reasonable, yummy, sashimi, I head here. It's a tiny place, but well worth the wait.
7. Hodad's Burgers [Ocean Beach] - A health nut's nemesis; GIANT burgers, HUGE fry wedges, and lots of beer.
8. Rusty's [Crown Point] - A close second behind Hodad's; good burgers, good beer, good times.
9. Filippi's Pizza Grotto [Pacific Beach] - Deep dish, cheap, yumminess.
10. Café Zucchero [Little Italy] - Amazing, authentic Italian food.
11. Celadon [Hillcrest] - Not the cheapest place, but if you're into Thai food; it's the best I've had in the city and the atmosphere is quite pleasant.
12. Extraordinary Desserts - One word: wow.
    

What did I miss?

Wanted: Career Mentor; Apply Within.

I've never had a mentor, well, I guess that's not entirely true. I've never had a career mentor. When I made the decision to be a veterinary scientist (maaaany years ago) it was 'cuz I was the girl who rushed the dove with the broken back who had flown into a nearby window and the baby quail who was the runt of the flock and had been left behind wandering back and forth along a tall city curb to the nearest wildlife facility.

I had always felt a strong sense of empathy and a deep connection with animals (well, mammels and birds at least), so a life of healing and helping animals just seemed a natural course. But as you likely know, life often has other plans in store for us.

Two months into my college career (and a case of mono later), I was no longer a college student and spent the next 3 years of my life as a full-time retail associate and manager. That brief exposure was plenty to make me realize a college education was well worth my time, money, and effort for the monetary and occupational rewards. Once again, lacking direction from a career mentor I developed a simple formula for determining which bachelor's degree to pursue upon my return to college:

< Industry Demand + < Monetary Potential + > Education Time = Computer Science

Note the lack of '< Career Enjoyment/Fulfillment' and ' > Education Difficulty' within my formula. I'm grateful for my lack of consideration regarding the latter since I've realized that in spite of being a prisoner of the computer lab for nearly 4 years of my life, it's a worthwhile pursuit for obtaining a strong foothold within such a lucrative industry.

With regard to the first missing formula component, I often wonder if my anti high-school career counselor approach to vocational searching will eventually and ultimately lead to my burnout, but again, without a mentor to weigh my decisions against, I went the "I'll enjoy anything that challenges me" route rather than the, "I must pursue a career I'm already naturally interested and gifted in" route.

So here I sit; at another junction in my career where I could really use a little influence from someone who's had to make a similar decision, has pursued a similar career path, and has been exposed to the industry long enough to have insights and premonitions that I cannot.

No, wait...I think I just found the perfect mentor: Google.

Spiritual Quest - Part I

After spending some quality time with my beloved God-fearing family this past weekend, I feel it's time to tackle the intimidating and frightening topic of...[foreboding music] - religion. The 6 hour drive each way between San Diego and Tucson afforded me ample time to consider the role spirituality plays in my own life, how I feel about my personal purpose, and my belief or disbelief in a God and [his] constituents.

But before I launch into that mountainous molehill, some background info. I wasn't really exposed to religious/spiritual elements until about age 6, when my stepmother came into my life; at which point I was intensely exposed to Charismatic Christianity1. At approximately age 14, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit2, and voluntarily attended church regularly until approximately age 18, shortly before moving out of my parents' house. Christianity played a predominant role through most of my teen years and virtually all of my social activities centered around our church and the friends I made there.

Fast forward 10 years; I'm making the monotonous commute, alone between San Diego and Tucson, conflicted about the disparity between my chosen spiritual path (or lack thereof) and that of my family's. Suffice it to say, my current social situation presents little to no opportunity for discussions on the topics of religion or spirituality, but I guess that's what I get for hanging out with a bunch of young, Computer Scientists; not that I'm all too excited to broach those topics myself.

My current approach to religion and the spiritual hows and whys of life is much the same as my approach to all conundrums; logical reasoning. Let's start with the basics; how did I get here? As a scientist, I find the perfect symmetry present in all aspects of the natural world to be far too large a coincidence for a divine-less explanation. I do believe in the element of a single, divine Creator that authored us and the world we know.

Having established that belief, now the difficult part and the question that has likely claimed more lives throughout history than any other; which one? If I were THE God, how would I go about establishing my presence to humans? Humans are inherently skeptical so I'd probably perform feats before their eyes that they knew as impossible. Miracles such as raising people from the dead, walking on water, instantly multiplying finite materials, etc. And who is historically and repeatedly recorded as performing these feats? None other than Jesus Christ.

In spite of the loose translations and and cultural influences prevalent within most historical writings, the similarity and quantity of recorded miraculous events performed by Jesus Christ leads me to intuitively believe there is some truth to the recounts. And since I believe Jesus Christ did, in fact, perform those acts that I know to be impossible, then I believe Him when He says He's the Son of God. Because again, I'm a student of reason and if someone else were to appear today and do the things that Jesus Christ is recorded as doing right before my eyes, I wouldn't hesitate to jump on their bandwagon, too.

Alright, so at this point, I would consider myself a Christian insofar as I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and died for our sins on the cross. However, there are elements of popular Christianity that I do not believe were originally intended by Jesus and that I do not readily agree with. For example, the widely accepted Christian belief that the entire Holy Bible (and all its translations) are the black and white moral law to be obeyed and followed in its entirety, word-for-word. Rather, I approach the Holy Bible as exactly what it is; a historical document recounting the life, teachings, and death of Jesus Christ, written by authors with varying degrees of cultural influence and suffering countless loose translations.

The Bible is a remarkable document and highly useful for gaining insight into the life, purpose, and beliefs of Jesus Christ. But it's also chock full of the authors' personal opinions and culturally accepted norms. It is inherently counterintuitive to believe that a document comprised of human selected authors with human written, edited, and translated words could reach us today in a purely divine form.

That is not to say the Bible is not a worthwhile reading because I believe it's absolutely a worthwhile undertaking for anyone, whether it's to better understand Jesus Christ as one's Lord or for evaluative purposes in one's own search for their personal beliefs. That said, I also believe the literature should be consumed in a proactive format, weighing its content against cultural, gender, and individual preferences of the time. The Bible, in my opinion, is not a step-by-step instructional guide for life, but rather an overall, big-picture concept of what it means to live the life Jesus prefers, but ultimately the best source for those instructions is Jesus Christ Himself.

There are many who will label me as a 'lukewarm' Christian or any other of a number of catch-phrases distributed amongst the congregation(s) because of my opinions, and so be it. There are 2 primary criticisms I have of Christianity as a whole; its adoption of a number of beliefs and traditions that have no basis for origination with Jesus Christ Himself and an immediate and harsh judgment of all those not participating within the Christians' vein of spirituality.

I believe Jesus is and was a remarkable human being who behaved very differently than many of those who claim to fashion themselves after His likeness. I believe He was inherently empathetic and quite logical and that He inspired people by His example, not His criticism. Much of His original intention has, in my opinion, has been lost in the Christian masses and Christians of all kinds should step back and evaluate everything they believe to be Christ in origin.

1 Charismatic Christianity is often characterized by highly unorthodox activities such as church services containing loud, highly boisterous musical praise performances complete with church members dancing in the aisles and speaking in tongues. These activities are done at the influence of the Holy Spirit2.

2 The Holy Spirit, one third of the Holy Trinity (God and Jesus being the other 2), is said to be the spiritual incarnate of God, while Jesus is God's physical incarnate. God cannot, himself, directly interact with humans due to his benevolence since his mere presence would likely kill us, so he uses the forms of Jesus and the Holy Spirit to have direct contact with humankind.

Riddle-Liffic

The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it? [No cheating].

B-E-A-uuutiful!!

It's days like today that remind why I pay exorbitant rent to live here. I recently acquired the task of performing audits on a handful of secret systems we have located on the Campus I work at; what relevance does this fact have to today's blog? None, except that this task requires me to travel from my building to another building located about a couple hundred yards away. Just the simple act of walking outside is enough to put one in a good mood. The weather's a perfect 78 degrees right now with a gentle breeze, there are vibrant colored flourishing plants everywhere you look, and the sky is a brilliant blue without a single trace cloud as far as the eye can see.

Living here makes me want to be a construction worker just so I can linger outdoors as often and as long as possible. If I could get a LAN connection from outside my building, you'd probably find me camped out on a patch of lush grass in the sunshine coding away. It's not too painful walking back into the confines of my ultraviolet illuminated, windowless office; knowing that today is Friday which means tomorrow I'll spend a good part of the day drinking, socializing and sunning myself on the beautiful sands of Pacific Beach followed on Sunday by a nice walk with my dog down to the local Starbucks where I'll sit outside; my top half in the shade, and bottom half in the sunshine, sip my ice-coffee, read, study, and watch the foot traffic go by.

God, I love this place.

No Vacancy

I have learned something about myself since relocating to beautiful San Diego, CA (in addition to my latest preference for tiny, hyper-fuel efficient cars); I do not like house guests. In concept, the idea is great. Most people would probably say I'm a pleaser; I like to entertain, I like to go out, and I like to eat out. But I guess I'm not a true pleaser because my generosity knows limits and when a person (or people) crosses my line of graciousness and I feel taken advantage of; I do not react well.

But then again, is there really a good way to react? Try telling the house guests you've had for the last 4 days that you're a little tired of them camping out in your living room, monopolizing your couch, forcing you to spend your free time and money on them, and that, while you've enjoyed their company up until this point, you'd like them to vacate immediately if not sooner; and then lemmee know how that goes over.

No, instead I take the much more subtle route. I become bitter, crabby, irritable and just generally unpleasant to be around until the house guests leave, I commit to never hosting another house guest again (that isn't related to me), and then I return to normal. It's not that I don't love seeing my friends and I truly do appreciate them traveling all this way to enjoy the fine weather and to visit me, but it's such a personal-life upset to have people camped out in my tiny living room for 4 nights and 5 days.

Not only do I wind up spending significantly more money than usual since I'm eating out for every meal and constantly 'doing stuff' to keep them and me entertained, but it's impossible for me to get a single quiet moment or just to camp out on my own couch and chill for an evening. I get nothing productive done; my laundry piles up, my condo gets trashed, and my dog gets neglected.

And to make matters worse, the caliber of friends who hit me up for a free hotel stay are not exactly swimming in funds which means we're either splitting everything right down the middle or I'm compensating a little extra due to my perceived improved financial situation (including, but not limited to hitching a ride to work so they can drive my $36,000.00 car around town in leui of renting a car of their own).

It's easy for me to simply dismiss them as inconsiderate and overbearing house guests, but the truth is; I've been that house guest a time or two before myself. Because, in reality, it's difficult as a house guest to know when you're crossing the line and, as a hostess, it's difficult to gauge when one's initial generosity is overwhelming one's long-term good nature.

So, in conclusion and in light of my recent life lesson (further aggravated by the tiny size of our condo and the fact that Zac works from home now); I will no longer be accepting house guests that are not related to me. In spite of the financial savings generated for my friends in avoiding a hotel room expense, a rental car expense, and the convenience of built-in tour guides; my friendships have a much better chance of surviving a visit to San Diego if they don't shack up at my place.

Rhetorical Question #1

Am I selfish for wanting both a fulfilling and lucrative career while not sacrificing my opportunity to have a family? Who really suffers in such a predicament; it's not me, and it's not my significant other; it's the child. There's little question in my mind that a child benefits from having a parent (or other family/family-like member) home with them full-time at least for the first 5 years of their life. Am I saying any child who doesn't have such a luxury is eminently prison-bound? Of course not, but I do believe that, when possible, a deliberate attempt to ensure the best environment for the child should be made.

And thanks to the wonderful advances in conception preventative technologies we have available to us today, we have the opportunity to deliberate and situate what we perceive to be an ideal environment before even conceiving. So again I pose the question; am I selfish for wanting to have a child, but not being willing to sacrifice my career and the fulfillment it brings me? I do understand that biology plays a large factor in the entire childbearing experience and there are many women who find themselves no longer concerned with their careers once their 'maternal hormones' (to use the parlance of our times) have kicked in. But I also know a handful of mothers who understand the necessity of their presence in the home, but at the same time miss their careers. And I don't want to be one of them.

I don't want to feel the tiniest bit of resentment while driving my minivan to soccer practice, followed by ballet, and then to the 'Toddler Tumbling' class; all the while wishing I could be solving some complex algorithm or architecting a new software application. Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying I wouldn't find motherhood challenging or that the outcome wouldn't be as impactful as excelling in my career. On the contrary, what career could possibly be as noble and influential as shaping a human being?

I guess the difference lies, not in the challenge of career versus motherhood itself, but the knowledge of the outcome. I'm certain I would be a good mother, I'm certain myself and my significant other would raise an effective, character-filled, beautiful human being. But how many of my own expectations can I exceed in the realm of my career and how financially successful can I become? Survey saaaaaaaaaaaaaaays?! I don't know. And more importantly when I get to that answer, will I be willing to give it all up for the family I gave up? And as if this life-changing, do-or-die, all-important question weren't enough; it's a timed exam. Tick-tock goes the biological clock...