No Vacancy

I have learned something about myself since relocating to beautiful San Diego, CA (in addition to my latest preference for tiny, hyper-fuel efficient cars); I do not like house guests. In concept, the idea is great. Most people would probably say I'm a pleaser; I like to entertain, I like to go out, and I like to eat out. But I guess I'm not a true pleaser because my generosity knows limits and when a person (or people) crosses my line of graciousness and I feel taken advantage of; I do not react well.

But then again, is there really a good way to react? Try telling the house guests you've had for the last 4 days that you're a little tired of them camping out in your living room, monopolizing your couch, forcing you to spend your free time and money on them, and that, while you've enjoyed their company up until this point, you'd like them to vacate immediately if not sooner; and then lemmee know how that goes over.

No, instead I take the much more subtle route. I become bitter, crabby, irritable and just generally unpleasant to be around until the house guests leave, I commit to never hosting another house guest again (that isn't related to me), and then I return to normal. It's not that I don't love seeing my friends and I truly do appreciate them traveling all this way to enjoy the fine weather and to visit me, but it's such a personal-life upset to have people camped out in my tiny living room for 4 nights and 5 days.

Not only do I wind up spending significantly more money than usual since I'm eating out for every meal and constantly 'doing stuff' to keep them and me entertained, but it's impossible for me to get a single quiet moment or just to camp out on my own couch and chill for an evening. I get nothing productive done; my laundry piles up, my condo gets trashed, and my dog gets neglected.

And to make matters worse, the caliber of friends who hit me up for a free hotel stay are not exactly swimming in funds which means we're either splitting everything right down the middle or I'm compensating a little extra due to my perceived improved financial situation (including, but not limited to hitching a ride to work so they can drive my $36,000.00 car around town in leui of renting a car of their own).

It's easy for me to simply dismiss them as inconsiderate and overbearing house guests, but the truth is; I've been that house guest a time or two before myself. Because, in reality, it's difficult as a house guest to know when you're crossing the line and, as a hostess, it's difficult to gauge when one's initial generosity is overwhelming one's long-term good nature.

So, in conclusion and in light of my recent life lesson (further aggravated by the tiny size of our condo and the fact that Zac works from home now); I will no longer be accepting house guests that are not related to me. In spite of the financial savings generated for my friends in avoiding a hotel room expense, a rental car expense, and the convenience of built-in tour guides; my friendships have a much better chance of surviving a visit to San Diego if they don't shack up at my place.