Rhetorical Question #1

Am I selfish for wanting both a fulfilling and lucrative career while not sacrificing my opportunity to have a family? Who really suffers in such a predicament; it's not me, and it's not my significant other; it's the child. There's little question in my mind that a child benefits from having a parent (or other family/family-like member) home with them full-time at least for the first 5 years of their life. Am I saying any child who doesn't have such a luxury is eminently prison-bound? Of course not, but I do believe that, when possible, a deliberate attempt to ensure the best environment for the child should be made.

And thanks to the wonderful advances in conception preventative technologies we have available to us today, we have the opportunity to deliberate and situate what we perceive to be an ideal environment before even conceiving. So again I pose the question; am I selfish for wanting to have a child, but not being willing to sacrifice my career and the fulfillment it brings me? I do understand that biology plays a large factor in the entire childbearing experience and there are many women who find themselves no longer concerned with their careers once their 'maternal hormones' (to use the parlance of our times) have kicked in. But I also know a handful of mothers who understand the necessity of their presence in the home, but at the same time miss their careers. And I don't want to be one of them.

I don't want to feel the tiniest bit of resentment while driving my minivan to soccer practice, followed by ballet, and then to the 'Toddler Tumbling' class; all the while wishing I could be solving some complex algorithm or architecting a new software application. Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying I wouldn't find motherhood challenging or that the outcome wouldn't be as impactful as excelling in my career. On the contrary, what career could possibly be as noble and influential as shaping a human being?

I guess the difference lies, not in the challenge of career versus motherhood itself, but the knowledge of the outcome. I'm certain I would be a good mother, I'm certain myself and my significant other would raise an effective, character-filled, beautiful human being. But how many of my own expectations can I exceed in the realm of my career and how financially successful can I become? Survey saaaaaaaaaaaaaaays?! I don't know. And more importantly when I get to that answer, will I be willing to give it all up for the family I gave up? And as if this life-changing, do-or-die, all-important question weren't enough; it's a timed exam. Tick-tock goes the biological clock...